Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

I Should've Learned To Throw A Knuckleball (sigh)...

Eri Yoshida is 5'1" and only 17 years old


and after becoming the first female to play (semi) professional baseball in Japan, she will be bringing her nasty 50mph knuckleball to the Yuma Scorpions in the Arizona Winter League beginning this January.

Guido Beach

On the other end of the television spectrum from The Wire, there is mTV's Jersey Shore, my new favorite show.

Put eight orange retards with no sense of self-awareness in a house and add alcohol into the equation and you have a recipe for comedy gold.

To summarize for those who haven't kept up with the first four episodes, there's 3 fake tanned and muscled douchebags, 1 semi-normal (i.e. boring) guy, and 4 attention seeking butterfaces. Each night they go out as a group and one of the girls will do something dirty at the club and the next morning will claim she was too drunk remember in an effort to keep her self-respect. The bros will talk a big game about getting with all the ladies, but thus far, as far as I can tell, only one has gotten laid and he is now pussy-whipped by one of his butterface roommates.

Episode #4, which aired last week, left us with a tantalizing cliff-hanger, as Snooki (the most damaged of the 4 girls, IMO) got knocked the fuck out by some random dude at a bar. (MTV didn't air the punch, only the lead up and aftermath, but they did a good job saturating the internet with the footage.)

Needless, to say, I can barely wait for the fall out that awaits in Episode #5.

After the first episode, however, I couldn't help but to notice that Jersey Shore's concept is a brazen rip off of this youtube classic:

I hope that the guy who created Guido Beach is at least getting a little $umthin $umthin from the Jersey Shore creators...

David Simon Interview In Vice


David Simon, a true American genius and TV God, not to mention creator of The Wire, did an excellent interview in the new Vice that's well worth your time.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Young Dirty Bastard

Coco Workin' It Out




This is a great record, but $700+?!?!?

Hear it for free on Podcast #3

Captain Beatfart Podcast #4: A Feast Of Festive Flatulence


I've never been a big fan of Christmas music. Diggers with dusty fingers know thrift shops' vinyl sections are littered with all kinds of horrible Christmas detritus that one has a hard time anyone ever bought in the first place. 

Lately, though, after stumbling upon a bunch of really cool tracks, my opinion of Christmas music has softened. With this mix, I wanted to compile all the greatest Christmas songs I could cram into an hour. I tried to eschew a lot of the obvious classics like Vince Guaraldi and "Christmas In Hollis" in favor of tracks you probably won't hear very often during the season (although the Canned Heat track is probably familiar to most people).

Here's the tracklisting:

The Joy Strings - O Little Town Of Bethlehem
Sun Ra & The Qualities - It's Christmas Time
Milly & Silly - Gettin' Down For Xmas
Harvey Averne Band - Let's Get It Together This Christmas
Hector Lavoe - Una Pena En Navidad
Captain Beatfart vs. The Chipmunks
Eazy-E - Merry Muthafucking Xmas
Hard Call Xmas - My Christmas Bells
Quad City DJs, 69 Boys & K-Nock - What I Want For Christmas
James Brown - Hey America
The Sonics - Don't Believe In Christmas
The Fall - Jingle Bell Rock
Nathaniel Mayer - Mr. Santa Claus
Clarence Carter - Back Door Santa
The Twistin' Kings - Xmas Twist
Canned Heat - Christmas Blues
Blues Magoos - Jingle Bells
Was (Not Was) - Christmas Time In The Motor City
Julian Casablancas - I Wish It Was Christmas Today
Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)
The Kinks - Father Christmas
Electric Jungle - Funky Funky Christmas
Frogs - Here Comes Santa's Pussy
Alan Vega - No More Christmas Blues


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Battle At Kruger

If there is ever a youtube Hall Of Fame, this is a first ballot unanimous pick. More drama than Mariah Carey on the rag.

For The Fashionable Man Who Has Everything


And The Award For Most Inappropriate Setting For An Interview Goes To... (Completely NSFW, btw)

Keep it classy

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Friday, December 11, 2009

Captain Beatfart Podcast #3: Fart Mask Replica


Jim Jarmusch's Captain Beatfart Podcast PSA
Doris - You Never Come Closer
The Emotions - I Like It

Ron B - Stitch By Stitch
Rappin' 4-Tay - Playaz Club
Money Mark - Cry (Dust Brothers Remix)
Charlotte Gainsbourg & Beck - Me And Jane Doe
Apeanaut - Wargames
Salem - Redlights
TV On The Radio - Robots
Roxanne Shante - Big Mama (Quarterbar Remix)
Slimm Calhoun ft. Andre 3000 - It's OK
Kool Keith and Beatfart go to the zoo
Nina Simone - Funkier Than A Mosquito's Tweeter
Porno For Pyros - Tahitian Moon 

Jimi Hendrix - Happy Birthday
Selda - Meydan Sizindir
Carl Orff - Gassenhauer
Moondog - Enough About Human Rights
The Aislers Set - Catherine Says
Marie Laforet - Et Si Je T'aime
Joe Cook & The Thrillers - Peanuts 68little


Beatfart #3 by CaptBeatfart

Everybody knows you never go full retard.

Wait For It...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Monday, December 7, 2009

Which One Is The Spoof?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Captain Beatfart Podcast #2: The Beat That My Fart Skipped


More goodies. This one is slightly rootsier than the first podcast.


Reading Rainbow Theme 

The Slickers - Johnny Too Bad 

Trevor Dandy - Is There Any Love 

Abner Jay - Bring It When You Come 

Bobbie Bare - Don't Think Twice 

Merle Haggard - (My Friends Are Gonna Be) Strangers

Elton & Betty White - Bitch 

Harold Alexander - Mama Soul 

Jonny Trunk & Wisbey - The Ladies' Bras 

Riskay - Smell Yo Dick (ft. Aviance & Real) 

Danny Gold - Throwdown (Pilooski Edit) 

Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder - What's That You're Doing? 

Adriano Celentano - Prisencolinensinanciusol 

Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich - Hold Tight 

Invasion - Spells Of Deception

Mike Tyson PSA 

Ultimate Force - I'm Not Playing

Willie D - I Wanna Fuck Your Mama 

??? - Fuck Your Friend

Lambert, Hendricks & Bavan - Yeh-Yeh


or listen here:

Beatfart #2 by Beatfart

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Who Knew?

I've walked this earth for 29 years and never knew darts were this big anywhere on the planet

And I also thought the bulls-eye was the best place of the dartboard to throw at...guess not...

New Google Ad

This is part of Google's new "Search Stories" ad campaign to keep Bing at bay

I love the economy of the storytelling. The music and sound design put it over the top. It packs a lot of bite in less than a minute.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Dock Ellis

No Mas kills it with this one.

Word to all the baseball players out there: LSD not Steroids.

Why Japanese Television Rules

Christians Crack Me Up

Some Music Videos

FLAIRS - TRUCKERS DELIGHT from 3rd Side Records on Vimeo.

Flying Lotus "Parisian Goldfish" from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.

Whatever Works

2009 has been a fairly disappointing year in film.

Inglorious Basterds was way better than anyone expected and might just be my favorite movie of the year.

However, one movie that I think was dismissed without a fair chance was Whatever Works. You can't judge Woody Allen against Annie Hall or Manhattan forever; that'd be like saying "Stanley Kubrick, A Clockwork Orange was a'ight, but I liked 2001 better."

Whatever Works
wound up being my favorite Woody Allen film since Sweet And Lowdown. Agree or not, I think we can all agree that Larry David plays a much better Woody Allen than Kenneth Branaugh.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Captain Beatfart Podcast #1: First Fart From The Mothership

If I've ever given you a mixtape, it's a lot like that. It's a disparate mix ranging from French Pop to Hip Hop to Pakistani film music to Soul. All of these tracks have been "the most amazing thing I've ever heard" at some point.

Here's the tracklisting:

James Curd - We Just Won't Stop
Roy Porter - Party Time
Claude McLin - Jambo
Tafo & Nahid Akhtar - Karye Pyar
Don Cavalli - Wonder Chairman
Isabelle - Amstramgram
PSA #1
MF Doom - Dead Bent
6ix - I'm Just Like You
Marvin Gaye - Third World Girl
Ed O.G. & Da Bulldogs - Love Comes And Goes
PSA #2
Cut & Run - You Cunt
Sleigh Bells - A/B Machines
Angelo & Eighteen - Flight 2
David Bowie - Moonage Daydream (Leo Zero Edit)
Little Caesar & The Euterpeans - Good Good Lovin'
Eddie & Ernie - Bullets Don't Have Eyes


or listen here:
Beatfart #1 by Captain Beatfart

Expect more in the future. As soon as I figure out a hosting situation, I'm going to try to get it on itunes.

Monday, November 16, 2009